


What ever your heart says

by Hoho_TheFool



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:01:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24680482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoho_TheFool/pseuds/Hoho_TheFool
Summary: Takes place somewhere here during ep9.After Charlie asks Alex out for prom, Alex starts to realize he doesn't want this at all. He runs away and finds a certain someone on THEIR rooftop.
Relationships: Zach Dempsey/Alex Standall
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	What ever your heart says

The moment he entered the room, he already regretted it. Right in front of him stood Charlie with a wide grin. Behind him some, no- many fairy lights and huge letters that spelled "prom" with a question mark. The room was filled with these cheap LED candles and everything looked just not the way Alex expected being asked out to prom. It was so cheesy and he somehow disliked it.

Alex couldn't ignore the thoughts that were drifting around his mind right now- how would it have been to be asked out to prom by Zach? Maybe it was awkward, boring. Maybe he would've asked him out at one of their spots.

A wishful thinking--Zach told him he wasn't into guys. So he clearly wouldn't ask him out. And why was he thinking about his best friend anyway while his boyfriend was right in front of him?

He let out a sight.

Charlie stood up as he noticed the absence of Alex. "Something wrong?"

The brown haired boy shook his head.

The other boy looked at him in worry "Clearly must be... You didn't react to any of this." Alex sighed again and looked around. Scanning a way out.

"It's really nice Charlie. Really. And I see the effort you put into this." he smiled a weak smile "and I appreciate it." trying to sound as convincing as possible.

"But?"

"There's not "but" Charlie."

"Don't try to tell me there's not "but". You're my boyfriend and I notice when something is up" the younger boy took the hand of his older boyfriend.

"Yeah." Alex whispered, still looking around, avoiding as much eye contact as possible. "About that.."

"About what?" "About being your boyfriend..."

Charlie looked at him in confusion but was still holding his hand. "Did I do something wrong? If so tell me."

"Yes...I mean no. You did nothing wrong." Alex took a deep breath. He should tell him now, he ows him. "I just don't think everything... This..." He pointed around the room. "This is not what I wished for."

The blonde boy still had no clue what Alex was talking about.

"I can try again. For You."

"No Charlie. It's not about this.. It's about everything. About us. You're a really nice guy, and I appreciate the effort you put into it. The effort in making me happy. I see that you're trying but this whole cheesy stuff isn't for me." He really felt bad for Charlie. All he did was to try and make him happy while everytime they met Alex mind drifted back to Zach and how nice it would be to be on a date with him instead of Charlie.

"I can't do this anymore. Neither go to prom with you nor being your boyfriend." Alex didn't even wait for Charlie's respose- instead he pulled away his hand and left the room in a rush. Not looking back, not looking into Charlie's disappointed face.

Leaving the whole school behind and no idea where he was heading. The day began with sunshine. And just like Alex mood it changed into dark clouds, and rain started pouring down onto the streets. Drenching everything wet.

He had no umbrella with him- that why the best idea probably was to head home. But he didn't want to. He wanted to clear his mind.

Alex took out his phone, looking through his contacts he found Zach.

He had no idea why and what he should text him, but he did anyway.

10 minutes passend- he sent another one

20 minutes passend - another one.

Then 30 minutes, than an hour.

Still no responses from his best friend. Why was he ignoring the test massages?

**Half a day earlier ~**

Zach was lingering around the school hallways as he noticed Charlie. He was carrying some things around, they really looked disgusting cheesy. The darker haired boy tool a quick look around, then followed the other one- carefully not to be seen.

Charlie disappeared into a room- Zach recognized it as one of Alex old math book rooms. What the fuck was he doing in there?

He looked around the corner, watching Charlie set up some lights. The boy pulled out some of these ugly looking LED candles and put them all around the room.

Realization hit him as he understood what all this was for. Charlie was probably about to ask Alex out for prom. Zach scoffed - he knew how Alex hated cheesy stuff. He was the only one who knew so many things about the smaller boy. Not even his boyfriend knew all these things about Alex.

But still.. It hurt him just thinking about seeing Alex with Charlie on prom. Alex would look sweet as hell as usual in his suite.

He would never overcome the regret not asking him out.

He shook his head and turned around and he heard Charlie's annoying voice behind him. "Oh Zach. What are you doing here?"

"Well it's a school so I guess I'm here for attendance purposes?"

"No. I mean here." He pointed at the empty hallway.

"Oh. Yeah. Forgot something down the hallway earlier." Zach took a quick look inside the room.

"Asking out Alex to prom right?"

Charlie nooded. "Yes." then he smiled and something inside Zach broke into pieces, still he put on a happy face too.

"I hope he likes it."

"You will see." the taller one said, patting his back. Deep down Zach knew how much it would turn Alex down seeing something like this, but something still bothered him. He wanted to be the first guy to ask Alex out- yet he didn't because he was too afraid of his own feelings. To afraid that people might judge him.

The school day went by fast, but he didn't saw Alex anywhere. This was all so upsetting. Even during lunchbreak he thought about the moment Charlie hugged and kissed Alex from behind, talking shit about something related to Titanic. How he left just to get away from this all- he wanted to be alone and somehow he then found himself in the music classroom. Sadly, luck wasn't on his side that day and Justin approached him. Rambling something about Winston.

Winston.

The guy that appeared out of nowhere.

The guy that asked Alex out for valentines day. The first time he saw Alex with Winston it wasn't that bad. No jealousy involed- at least not as much. It only grew stronger after they both broke up- he was mad at d Winston for breaking Alex heart. And with Charlie now being his boyfriend he not only found himself being jealous but also mad.

Zach stood up without even finishing his food, throwing it away.

He then left the school building without even caring that it wasn't even over yet.

It was now late afternoon. Raing was pouring down, drenching the streets wet. His phone buzzed almost every 10 minutes. He took a look. 7 missed calls, almost 20 unread messages. Every single one of them from Alex. What was he thinking - why was he doing this? Probably to tell him about Charlie and the prom thing. He tugged away the phone, rubbed his face and let out a deep breath.

Zach was sitting on top of that rooftop under a small roof, where they shared their first kiss, watching the rain dashing down onto the streets. The darker haired boy had no idea how long he was sitting there but chosed to stay until the rain was over. No matter how long it would take. He had no umbrella with him, and the coat he was wearing would be drenched within seconds.

He leaned back and looked up the dark, cloudy sky. The weather was probably feeling the same as him - let down, crying about past things. Things that will never come back. Out of nowhere he heard footsteps approaching and a voice so quiet you could miss it - "Zach. Can I sit next to you?"

Alex asked. The other one looked up, made eye contact with his friend who was completely soaked in rain, his hair stuck so his forehead. Water running down his face, his collarbone. His clothes stuck onto his body like a second skin. Alex tried not to shiver but without any effort. He was freezing.

Zach blinked himself out of his thoughts. He wondered how Alex found him but didn't ask. "Y-Yeah, course you can sit next to me. But let me just..." He stood up, already about to take off his coat as Alex pulls him closer.

" What's wrong Alex? "

" I broke up with Charlie and I didn't took his prom offer."

"Why would you do that? You two loved each other."Zachs voice sounded stern. Alex looked up to his best friend." Well... He really annoyed me with all his cheesy movie refences and I realized I don't want this... I would rather be with you"

Zach laughed, pulling his hand out of Alex grip. "Me? Yeah. Jokes on you. I told you I'm not into guys." He hated himself for saying it again. It was only Alex and him, so why was he afraid to admit his own feelings. Nobody would judge him.

Alex anger boiled up inside again. "You're such an asshole you know that right? Nobody can judge us up here. Why are you like this? Don't pretend like it's nothing - I could feel how jealous you were on Valentines day. Or when you asked me why I'm with you and not with Charlie. Everyone already sensed something was up and that it wasn't just because of all the trauma. You told me yourself we could be the first to tell each other things."

" Yeah. I told you that."

"Then why are you acting up like this? The anger in your voice the day we wreaked havoc the principals office, you never acted like this towards me. Winston told me you had a talk during the lock down. He said there was something in your voice as you talked about me." the small boy couldn't put all the anger and frustration into words, he tried to catch his breath.

"You really believe what Winston's telling you after all he did to you?"

"Why should he lie about this? And it's not just him. I know you had your difficulties with Diego but he also told me he noticed something.

 _Fucking Diego_ \- Zach mumbled, clenching his fist.

"Tell me what's up or else I will never talk to you again and I don't think you want this after all we've been through. And right now you need a friend. To overcome your alcoholism."

"I'm not drunk."

"What a surprise Dempsey. I rarely got to see you sober the last few months."

Zach tried not to start to cry. Tried his best to prevent the tears from rolling down his faces. Luckily, they got mixed together with the rain which was now soaking him wet too.

" I just want you to be happy. And you can't and will never be happy with someone like me around you. I never stand up for my true feelings, I always ignore them or lately drown them in alcohol. You deserve to be happy, but not with me. Charlie could have given you the happiness you deserved and I rooted for this. But then I started feeling jealous. At Winston, at Charlie. For being so close with you. I wanted to take their place. But seeing you happy was and still is my priority as your best friend."

"My best friend. Right." Alex scoffed, and grabbed Zach's hand again. "Telling me you're jealous but then using the term "best friend". I don't understand it."

"Its best if you don't. Go home, talk to Charlie...talk things out."

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO CHARLIE." the smaller boy literally screamed, and it sounded desperate. "I want you. And only you. I don't fucking care how fucked up you are or how unhappy you might make me. This means we can be unhappy together. I would rather be unhappy together with someone I love then being safe and sound together with someone I don't love. Fuck Winston, fuck Charlie. I don't want to let you go. We can help each other out. We know each other the best. We know what the other other has been through."

Hearing these words coming from Alex made Zach feel things he never felt.

" You know what? I hate you for doing this to me Alex."

" What do you m[...] " but Alex couldn't finish his words, he already felt the other boy's lips on his own.

The kiss wasn't long, but intense.

"I hate you for making me feel this way."

**Author's Note:**

> POST FIGHT RAIN KISS


End file.
